Tag Archives: expat

5 Tips for International Traveling with Special Needs Children

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Wheelchair

photo by Tom Magliery

Earlier this week I posted about traveling with kids alone. I had just traveled with my two girls alone from Asia to the US. My oldest daughter has special needs, so I wanted to add a few other tips regarding travel with special needs children.

1. Ask for help. This may sound obvious, but sometimes I get into an independent mode and forget to ask for help. I have found that most people are willing to help when asked. During this last trip I asked for help with getting my carry-on down from the overhead compartment. I also asked the flight attendants for extra water. I have to mention that the flight attendants on my flights were extremely helpful and nice. Anyone that travels often will know how oddly pleasant this was.

2. Accept help. Another obvious, but for the flaw I have about independence, I have to remind myself to accept the help that is offered. I know I’m pathetic at times. This trip a man helped me get my luggage from the hotel van into the airport. Although, one needs to be careful and watchful about strangers when traveling alone, I have found that most people just want to be helpful.

3. Wheelchair/stroller use. If you don’t have a wheelchair to bring or you don’t want to deal with yours after you arrive at your destination, then use the airline’s wheelchairs. In the past, we have let the airlines know that we needed it and they have had them ready with someone to push them for us. One instance, we even got to ride in the golf cart from one gate to the next. For this trip, I chose to bring our own wheelchair. Jie Jie is walking okay, but she tires easily and with jet-lag and such I was afraid of meltdowns. I checked her wheelchair in at the gate and she walked onto the plane on her own. When we arrived we had to wait a bit, but they brought her wheelchair to us. Although, I do remember a few years ago they forgot to load the stroller, but the airline was great about providing a wheelchair at each layover. A few days later our stroller arrived at our door from the airline. So, if you do take your stroller/wheelchair make sure you have the correct address on the check-in tag.

4. Make it known. Let the people at check-in, security, and at the gate know that you have a child with special needs. This may sound so ridiculous, but I found that not everyone “saw” Jie Jie’s situation. I guess they thought she was just a child in a stroller? Anyway, letting the people know made all the difference. We were able to board earlier, and the security went really smooth. They were understood that we were going to be slower. Some officers helped me put my carry-ons on the x-ray belt. Most of them smiled and were friendly with the kids. I know this ALL depends on the individual, but I really had a good experience with security checks. 

5. Be grateful. I think as a parent of special needs children we sometimes have the expectation that we should get special treatment. Don’t get me wrong here, I agree that the disabled have rights and we need to stand in and fight for those rights. That is not what I’m getting at here. What I’m saying is, we shouldn’t forget to say “Thank you” to those who help, even if it is part of their job. Smiling at the people who are helping and being pleasant is another way of showing gratitude and it brightens their day, too. Demonstrating gratitude for our children, whether they are disabled or not, is a great way to begin teaching them to be grateful and polite to others early on. *Note that with international traveling, other cultures may not treat children with special needs with the same “rights” as the country you come from.

Your Turn: Have you traveled  with your special needs child? What are some tips that you have? Please share in the comments below.

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5 Packing Tips for Visiting “Home”

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You know every few years (or maybe every year) expats travel back to their home country for a few months to a whole year. This is our year to go to the US to visit my family. We’ll just be there for a few months, but we leave in less than a week and I’m just starting to think about packing. Yep, I know I’m a bit behind to be just starting (at least some of you are saying that…)
One thing that I’ve noticed since having kids is that packing a suitcase has become more of an art. Packing clothes for the five of us, making sure the “I can’t live without it” stuffed animal gets in the carry on, shoes for all occasions, toiletries, etc.
Maybe you are in the same dilemma and are wondering what to pack, how to pack, etc.  Here are my top 5 tips.

1. List it.  This sounds crazy organized, and it probably is, but I list out what each person needs to take. (Note: I don’t pack for my husband, we have different tastes.) Do note that I’m packing for 4 people. I don’t make it specific, just general. Then when it goes into the bag I cross it off. That way I know what I’ve packed and what I haven’t (unless little hands help out and unpack it all for me). Because I’m a list freak, I also list out what is going in the carry-on.

2. Stack it. After I make a list I usually usually stack the clothes on my bed. I do this for two reasons. One it gives me an idea if I’ve over packed or not. Two, I can estimate how many suitcases I’m going to need.

3. Half it. I look at the clothes on my bed and I do just that. I take out about half from everyone’s pile and put it back in the dresser. I have found that we rarely wear all of the clothes that I’ve packed, so do the math. Half the clothes = more space on the return trip. Besides, the extra space is usually filled with clothes from the extended family or from the stores that we just can’t resist. You know what I mean, don’t you?

4. Stash it. I’m talking about putting a suitcase inside another one. I always do this because we tend to bring more back on the return trip than we do going there. This way, we have the empty suitcase already and we don’t have to buy another one once we are there.

5. Roll it. This is an old trick, but one that should not be forgotten. Roll everything you can. It just saves space. And don’t forget to roll the socks and stuff them in shoes.

As for gifts for the family…I stopped doing that awhile back when I realized that they pretty much had everything I could think to bring. Well, I might stuff in some Asian candy just for the fun of it….that always brings a good laugh with my mid-west family. Besides, it is a taste of “home” for my TCKs, which is always nice for them on these longer stays.

Your Turn: What is your top tip for packing? Please share in the comments below.

*photo credit: microsoft.com

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Mother’s Day

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Happy Mother’s Day!

A simple pink carnation…

Green plants with pink flowers dotting the arrangement….

Pink construction paper folded with a note scribbled by a child…

These thoughts fill my head when I think of Mother’s Day.

Having lived in Taiwan for a few years another thought has come to mind…Mother’s Day Ads.

Yes, ads selling cakes and cookies at the convenience stores, restaurants having special Mother’s Day meals, and other places offering whatever for a good price for your mother. It’s like Christmas for the Mom’s only club, which is great if you are a mom and if your family goes for that type of thing. 

I’m a mom, but my kids don’t get into the “buy mom all the great deals”. Do they love me? Yes. Do they appreciate me? I’m pretty sure most of the time. Does my husband not care and love me? He cares greatly and loves me way too much.

Why not go all out and get me the works? Because I don’t want all of that. I’d much rather spend time with them. In fact my favorite Mother’s Day was just a few years ago when they didn’t buy me a thing. Instead, my husband planned a day at the beach. He had a picnic packed and we left early before traffic. We were the only ones on the beach and it was perfect.

Waves splashing….

Sand in my toes…

Those are now my newest thoughts when someone mentions Mother’s Day to me now.

Your Turn: How do you celebrate Mother’s Day? Any special one that you remember the most? Please share in the comments below.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all!

Book Review: “Home Keeps Moving” by Heidi Sand-Hart

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by Heidi Sand-Hart

Summary: Heidi shares her life as a TCK/MK from India moving from country to country from continent to continent, and from culture to culture. She shares the joys, the excitement, and the hard ugly truth of the pain from her experiences. She uses many quotes from other TCK related books and then shares stories as examples. Some stories are her own, others are from fellow TCKs who have written about their own experiences. She discusses issues such as loss, grief, education, and “rootlessness”.

My thoughts: Loved it! I checked it out from the library and had a hard time not writing in it – so I am ordering my own copy soon. It’s not a “how to” book that gives tricks and secrets to making a TCK’s life work out perfect. Instead, Heidi gives the reader a glimpse of her journey in life. It gave me some insights to not only my children, but to my husband as well. She tackles some pretty tough subjects and I like that she doesn’t give a recipe on how to approach the difficult times. She reminded me that each TCK is different, so therefore the process for each is going to be different as well.

If you are a TCK and haven’t read this, I encourage you to check it out. It just might give you the courage to continue to seek out some unresolved issues in your life.

If you are a parent to a TCK – I recommend it just to be able to hear views from a TCK who is open and honest. You just might be get a few insights of your own.

You can get the book here at Amazon. Or if you want possible free shipping click here at Book Despository.

Your Turn: Have you read the book? What were your thoughts?

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A TCK kind of ad…

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Maybe you’ve seen this commercial from HSBC, but I just watched it today while waiting in the lobby at the American Institute of Taiwan. It made me giggle. I thought: This has TCK written all over it. Watch and see what you think…

I could totally see my kids doing this, couldn’t you?

Children and Visas…

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“If all this trouble saves one child from being trafficked, then it is worth it,” my husband said after he told me what all we needed to do to get visas for the kids for a two day trip to China.

Yep, I love that man.

Why are we going to China? It’s a fun expat story…

We decided to try to use our miles to get at least one ticket back to the US for the summer. Turns out that after years of traveling and saving miles we were able to get THREE tickets using miles. Amazing, isn’t it? So, I and the girls are using those tickets.

There’s a catch. There is always a catch. We have to make a stop over in China.

“That’s okay,” I say. “It is still cheaper to get three visas and a hotel than to buy three tickets. And, hopefully I’ll get to visit some friends while we are there.”

Last week I had a good friend book the hotel.

Visas. We called and found out that we need documents. Lots of documents for the kids. Original birth certificates. Passports. Old passports with old China visas. Adoption records. Basically anything that shows these kids are ours, legally.

My mind was blown. So. Much. Work. UGH!

But then my brilliantly smart compassionate man said, “If all this work saves even one child from being trafficked, then it is ALL worth it.”

My mouth shuts. All my complaints deflate because I know he is right. And I’m glad he’s right.

Your Turn: Ever used miles to buy tickets before? What is your story on the prep work to travel with kids?

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Cherry Coke, Kinderschokolade, and Seaweed

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Cherry Coke has made its way back to Taiwan. At first, I thought it returned to only the special “expat groceries”. You know the ones that carry all the yummy delights that you miss from your “home” country. Nope, they can be found at pretty much any convenient store. Which didn’t excite me, because I’m not a huge fan of soft drinks, but many of my friends posted it with photos on the Facebook status.

I guess it excited my son as well. He just had to have one the other day. I laughed to myself because I don’t think he’s ever had cherry coke, and if he has it was at least 2-4 years ago. How could he remember THAT? It’s not that special. Could it be because it is “American” and we are visiting family there in a few weeks? Or because his American classmates/teachers were all raving about its return?

His excitement spilled over onto my youngest, Mei Mei. I know there is no WAY she could remember drinking it, but it is now her favorite “soda” (btw, we only drink soft drinks about once a week if even that).

This incident made me analyze what my kids say their favorite snacks and beverages are. The results were interesting, but not really surprising. It was a mixture of cultures.

  • “American” culture – Cherry Coke, Nerds, Cheese Puffs (just found out this one today)
  • German culture – Kinder Eggs and Nutella
  • Asian culture – seaweed, kimchi, seaweed flavored chips, shrimp flavored chips

This is just a basic lists of their favorites, but I think it shows a visual of who they are as a TCK. Not that each “culture” is filed and organized, but that it is mixed together forming a part of who my kids are. Ge Ge’s mixture might have many of the same ingredients as Mei Mei’s, but they differ each other just as much as they differ their sister, Jie Jie.

I’m reading a book on TCKs right now called Home Keeps Moving by Heidi Sand-Hart. Though I’m getting some great insights about my own TCKs, I must remember one thing while raising them: They all are third culture kids, but they are very unique and differ from each other. 

Your Turn: So, what do your kids find to be their favorite foods? Have you found them to be a mixture of cultures? 

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CPR/First Aid trained? Why you should be, especially if you are an expat…

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First Aid

*photo from flickr

CPR stands for Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, which is a medical term that means heart (cardio) lung (pulmonary) revive to life (resuscitation).

As a teacher I was expected to keep up my certification in CPR and first aid, which I did. When I had my own children and decided to stay at home I did not re-certify. It was not expected of me and it was difficult to find a class where we were located at the time.

And then the day came.

We were in Germany packing to return to Asia. My husband was out with our son buying new shoes before we left. I was with the two girls squeezing the last of the necessities in the last suitcase. The youngest was taking a nap. Jie Jie, the non-verbal special needs child, was playing with toys in the playroom. Before I knew it though, she had slipped out of the playroom into the kitchen. When I found her she was bent over with drool dripping to the floor. She looked up at me with wide eyes and fear. She was choking.

My heart stopped. I yelled for my mother-in-law. She didn’t hear me.

I was alone. Bits and pieces from that CPR/First Aid class came to my mind.

I began the Heimlich. A few seconds later, which seemed to be minutes, out popped a blue plastic object covered in saliva. And then the greatest sound, a cry.

She was breathing again. We sat there on the floor crying together. I knew right then that I needed to get re-certified. Not because certification would give me permission or status, but because I needed to refresh my memory. It had been too long and I felt I had forgotten too much.

Just this week we had another experience with choking due to eating issues. My heart jumped, but because I just re-certified a few months ago it didn’t stop completely. I knew what to do.

It made me think, though. Are you certified? If not, why? Here’s why I think you should be, especially if you are an expat-parent.

1. Alone. You could be the only person with your child when that time comes. Husbands travel, housekeepers have days off, and neighbors vacation. Knowing these simple skills can really save your child. Another tip: Have a SOS number of a friend who speaks the language who you can call if more assistance is needed.

2. Language. The emergency operator may not speak English. Having a little CPR and first aid training can give you a head start on saving your child. Use that SOS number of a friend who does speak the language. Have them call while you are administrating CPR/first aid.

3. Time. In cases of choking, you don’t have time to call for help. Knowing what to do can help reduce further injury from pushing in the wrong spot.

I hope that you never have to administer CPR/Heimlich, but if you should one day, I do hope that you have taken a class. I’m so thankful that I was able to get re-certified here in my city. I highly encourage each of you to find a class, whether in the city you live or when you go back to your home country. It is something you won’t regret.

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“I Am Special” Book Review

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“I Am Special” by Lai Yit Loong and Catherine Lai is a picture book about their son, Benjy. Benjy is special because he is the youngest of four TCKs and the only son, but more so because he has autism. Written in first person, the reader gets a glimpse into Benjy’s life and the journey he is on. His parents write that, “through this sharing, [they] also hope to reach out and encourage many children out there who are on the same journey as Benjy.”

I believe this book does encourage other children. My daughter who has special needs likes to look at the pictures. I believe that she understands the message of the book, that she is special, too.

If  you are interested in getting a copy for yourself please know that all proceeds go to the organization Taiwan Sunshine. You can buy a copy of the book here.

*Next week, watch for an interview with Yit Loong and Catherine. It will be encouraging and inspiring as they share about raising their TCKs!

Colored Eggs, Painted Eggs…Happy Easter!

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Today was Easter, but we have been celebrating for the past few weeks. We started with the season of Lent. As a family we didn’t “give up” something for the holiday, but we did something to help the kids anticipate the coming day of Easter. I put marbles in a jar, one for each day until Easter. Every morning the kids would take turns to pull out the marble. This was a great way for the girls to see how much longer it was until Easter.

On Good Friday we colored eggs and painted eggs. There is a difference. One is that coloring eggs is my childhood tradition and painting eggs is my husband’s. Coloring eggs is dying boiled eggs.

The kids still like to do this every year. Jie Jie liked seeing her fingers turn blue, so the project wasn’t messy-free, but loads of fun.

We shared some of our eggs with our neighbors and the kids hunted for the rest this morning before church. Fortunately, they found them all.

Painted eggs are eggs that have had the yolk and egg white “blown” out, and then cleaned. I attach a string to the egg and the kids then paint them with acrylic paints.

After they dry we hang them up on our Easter Tree.

Our Easter Tree is usually a palm looking plant, but a few weeks ago it died. Yep, I couldn’t believe it, so we had to use a substitute this year. I’ll be buying a palm like plant next year, as this just wasn’t the best.

Hope you had a wonderful Easter with your family wherever you are!

Your Turn: What are some of your traditions that you do with your family during Easter? Please share in the comments below.