Reflecting takes time. And honestly, most of us don’t have the time to spare to spend it on such a “luxury”. It’s amazing how needy those little humans can be. If you have them in your home, trust me, they do grow and become somewhat less needy.
Unless they are a child with special needs.
Then, I can’t promise anything.
My daughter will be turning 17 next month and still requires most of my attention when she is at home.
In writing the first two sentences until this point I’ve stepped away from the keyboard several times.
- Started some music for her to listen to in her room.
- Put her hair in a bun.
- Took her to the bathroom.
- Changed music.
- Answered the phone and door.
- Put her hair in a ponytail.
- Cleaned up the water she spilled.
- Changed music again.
Reflecting in my journal is something that I need to do regularly for my mental health. But, as you can probably tell, I can’t do that with her home. Or at least awake. Years ago I began waking up at 4:45 am because she got up around 6 – no matter what time she was put bed. I needed my cup of coffee in S.I.L.E.N.C.E. with my journal, pen, and Bible. I was NOT a morning person, so this wasn’t easy to implement. These days she sleeps in until sometimes 7, so I’ve been working in some time to exercise – can’t say I’m as consistent as I am with drinking my coffee and writing in my journal, but I’m trying. (really, I am.)
With her graduating from middle school and getting to be home almost three weeks earlier than the rest of the school, I have reflected on how these weeks have gone and began thinking about her future – like when she graduates from high school.
I had a panic attack.
Would my life resemble these past few weeks with her home with me?
Would I have to totally give up ALL of my hopes and desires to be a writer, my projects that I’ve started on around the house, and stop any kind of normal social life or work that revolves outside the home?
Do I really only have three more years of freedom?
This week the theme at Velvet Ashes is on reflecting. And they are using the verse from 2 Corinthians 4:18, “So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.” (NLT).
I was seeing lots of trouble. My focus was very limited and definitely not on the eternal.
But, honestly how do you change your focus from the here and now to the eternal?
Reflecting on the faithfulness of God in the past.
So that is what I did.
- He provided schools when I didn’t think there would be one.
- He provided therapists.
- He provided hospitals, doctors, and countless people around the world to help with all medical needs.
- He provided friends who are WILLING and ABLE to help out.
If He could take care of all those needs in the past, He is able to take care of her future (and mine). Taking time to reflect and remember, led to peace and acceptance (or at least the beginning) of what this summer will look like. And for that matter, what her future will look like. I still don’t know, but I can trust the One who does.
While finishing this post, she got outside.
So, I laughed, snapped a photo, and I brought my computer outside.
Do you take time to reflect? When do you find time to do that? What have you reflected on this summer?
This post is part of The Grove with Velvet Ashes link-up on #velvetashesreflecting.