Meeting a Famous TCK

Posted on March 25, 2013 by MaDonna

Before the flu hit our family like a vicious creature from the black depths of the sea, I had the opportunity to listen to a John Newbery Award author speak at one of the International Schools here in Taipei. Linda Sue Park to be exact.

She’s a TCK, really!

I’m not sure she’d call herself a Third Culture Kid, but I do. Her parents are US immigrants from South Korea. Most of her books are tied back to South Korea in someway, which I love. Her curiosity of her parent’s life before America lead to questions, which lead to story ideas.

She was inspiring…

I’m not Korean, but I was inspired to share my stories and to find out the stories of my family to share with my own children. My kids should know about their great-grandparents and how they survived the dust bowl of the 30’s, how their grandparents survived WWII in Germany/Prussia, and how their parents grew up on opposite sides of the world yet still met and married.

How do you share family stories when you live on different continents?

Stories are usually shared around the table at family gatherings. I grew up in a family that met every Sunday after church at my grandparents’ home for lunch. This is where I heard many of the family stories, but my kids do not have that same opportunity. We live on a different continent and see them every few years.

What to do, what to do…

Be proactive. Keep a journal with the questions you want to ask. Get your kids involved if they are old enough and ask them what they want to know. Buy a book that already has the questions written down. Then spend time with those loved ones and find out the answers. You could even video the question/answer time so your children can watch it later. Your kids may not be that interested in it right now, but someday they will be – and when that day comes wouldn’t it be more fun to have a video or book to look at together than to just stare at them open mouthed and say, “I don’t know.”

My in-laws are visiting in a few months – I need to get that journal bought and ready.

Your Turn: Have you thought about your family stories and how you are going to pass them down to your kids? How have you managed it? I’d love to hear your thoughts and responses below.

Field-Trip Madness (raisingtcks.com)
Family Trees and Living Overseas (raisingtcks.com)

Field-Trip Madness

Posted on March 18, 2013 by MaDonna

We’ve been sick around here for the last few weeks, but I think we are now coming out of it. Finally.

A few months ago, I was thrilled to be asked by Carole at The Expat Child to write an article for her site. If you’ve not heard of this site, you need go and check it out. She has a wealth of information for parents relocating with their child(ren).

I had just survived a couple of field-trips with Jie Jie when I wrote this article. I shared some tips that I learned from the good, the bad, and the could have been ugly. Here is a clip from that article.

Though staying home would have been easier, new experiences are good for her development – no matter how hard they may be for me. So, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and entered the pottery shop.

If you want to read the rest of the article you can click on the link: “Surviving Field-Trips with Special Needs Children”

Here’s some of my favorites from The Expat Child:

Jet-Lag and Children

Where is Home?

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Debunking the Excuse Rail – Part 2

Posted on January 14, 2013 by MaDonna

For the first part of this series click here to read.

Living overseas can be adventurous and exciting. It can also be lonely and hard – even if you have a family. I’ve had my seasons of it all – or at least I think I should have by now, but I’m sure as seasons come and go they will each return at various times in my life.

One season that seems to return quite frequently is the Season of Feout (pronounced fe-out, combo of fear and doubt). This one pops up when I mention things or people from the US and my kids look at me with a blank stare. It also pops up in the fall when many Facebook friends start posting pics of their children at the pumpkin farms, hayrides they’ve taken, or tree leaves in their brilliant autumn colors. These I mentally add to my “list” of all the things I’m failing at with my kids because I have them here and not there. Here where there are no pumpkin patches, where the leaves don’t change colors, and hayrides? HA, we live in a mega-city. Here where they can’t get to know their grandparents, nor their cousins. Here where they constantly have to say good-bye to great friends who move. Here where “here” may be a new location in a year.

Do you relate to these “feout” questions I have sometimes? My mind can really get out of control with all the emotions swirling around.

I sometimes struggle – not always, just sometimes. It is during those times though that I want to “make-it-up” to my kids. I want to make up for all the losses they have because of the decision I made years ago – way before Uwe came into the picture – to live overseas. When we go to the US (or Germany) I want to take them to all the “fun” places – so they don’t miss out. I want to take them to baseball games, to amusement parks, to zoos, to farms/ranches, to fairs – whatever I can find. I sometimes want to make sure they “experience” the culture, not just hear about it through stories of my past.

Maybe you’ve not had these feelings above, but maybe you felt your children “deserved” something for all the loss in their lives. You know that the transitions are difficult, so you buy all the kids a smartphone so that they can “keep in touch” with their friends better. Or you think everyone deserves an iPad mini because let’s face it, it sure would make travel easier on the plane if everyone had their own. Or maybe you feel just the opposite. You feel as if you can’t give your children anything too nice because you work for a relief organization or are a missionary – and it just wouldn’t look good to those who support your work.

Either way, it’s all an excuse.

An excuse to do, buy, or not to buy for our kids (and let’s face for ourselves, too). Fact is that transitions are hard. Fact is my kids are going to miss out on some of my cultural activities. Fact is our kids are going to be fine. Yes, they will be fine if I take them to every fun thing I can find, or if we just play in the grandparents’ backyards. They will be fine if I buy them all an iPad mini or (more likely) not buy any. Point is, they will be fine. I shouldn’t, and neither should you, fall into that trap that we should “make-it-up” to our kids for living overseas. If you want to buy them an iWhatever, then do it. If you don’t have the money, don’t feel guilty. If you want to “experience” a cultural event like a baseball game with your child, then go. I really believe that our kids will remember the time we spent with them more than the actual event or gadget we buy them.

How do I know that our kids are going to be fine? I’m married to a TCK, have TCKs for friends, and have watched countless TCKs grow up. They all survived the experience – and most would say they are glad they grew up the way they did. That’s how I know my kids are going to be fine. This is how I get through those Seasons of Feout – I remind myself of other TCKs that were taken on this path. I don’t have to go far to be reminded – I just have look across the dinner table.

Your Turn: Have you ever had a “Season of Feout”? If so, how did you get through it? Please share in the comments below.

*Note: As far as I know “Feout” is my made up word from “fear” and “doubt”, but if it should be a word in another language please forgive me.

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Debunking the Excuse Rail – Part 1

Aside

Photo via microsoft.com

Has this ever happened to you?

It’s the last expat women’s gathering before you move to the next destination. You are physically tired and weary of saying good-bye. You know that in reality, you won’t see most of the ladies again and that in probably a couple of years you won’t remember their names. Saying good-bye stinks, so you decide to skip it and not attend. You can text that you have some last minute things that need to be done before you leave, which is the truth.

Or maybe this?

“I know that we just moved here and I should learn the language, but I don’t think it is possible. I’m too old to learn a new language. My brain just can’t handle all the vocabulary words and grammar. I can just use my phone app for translation.”

Excuses. We all have them. Sometimes they are legit reasons, and sometimes they just make us feel better. I’d have to say though that most of us live with the latter. We don’t want to feel like we’ve done something wrong/bad. I know I don’t like this feeling, but does having an excuse make it any better? Or is the excuse more like applying concealer in hopes that people will not see those blemishes in my life?

I’ve been challenged with these thoughts after reading the book Lies that Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The book is not about expat living, but I applied some of the “challenges” to areas in my life that deal with living overseas and raising TCKs. The one chapter that spoke the greatest to me was chapter eight on emotions. To summarize, Mrs. DeMoss writes that much research and discovery has been made regarding women during their times of physical changes. She challenges women that though our hormones are the reason for feeling out of control, quick tempered, etc that we shouldn’t let them be the excuse for being mean and nasty to the people around us.

This got me to thinking about expat living and raising TCKs. Research has been done on TCKs, on the stress of moving, and honestly on all areas in life. How many times have I let the reason of research become my excuse for my behavior?

I’m breaking this post down into three parts to make it shorter and digestible, meaning hopefully you’ll be able to read it in one sitting and be able to ponder about it yourself. So, look for Part 1 and 2 next week. They are just a couple of things I’ve thought of. Be ready to share because I really do like hearing your thoughts.

Language and TCKs (raisingtcks.com)
Thoughts of the New Year (raisingtcks.com)
The Importance of Good-bye (raisingtcks.com)

Thoughts of the New Year

Posted on January 2, 2013 by MaDonna

New Years Greeting, Chinatown 1912 (LOC)

Photo from flickr “The Commons”.

For the past two years now I’ve done something totally different with New Year’s Resolutions. If you were following me last year you may remember what that was. If you were not, keep reading.

Every year people write their resolutions down about what they want to accomplish for the year, usually about health. Others write out a list of goals they want to achieve that year. Some people keep them, but most of us stop after a month – and if you’re like me, it’s all over after a week. The list gets shoved aside, lost among the bills or other papers, or in my case, wadded into a perfect ball and slam dunked into the bin. Why did I do this? Well, because I once again realized that the ambitious part of my life exited when that alarm went off.

Can you relate to any of this? If so keep reading.

I’ve not wadded up a list now for two years. In fact, I don’t even need to make a list because I just have one word to remember. Yep, you read that right – One Word. The word needs to be something broad that can be applied to all areas of you life, but not so broad that you can’t grasp it. It should be something that is on your heart, something that speaks to you.

Two years ago my word was “secure”. Strange, maybe, but married to a TCK and raising three of them, being secure in who you are and where you call home is something I’ve dealt with. That year, my husband quit his job as a principal and began his own NGO. Secure was the perfect word for me – I learned enough lessons on security to probably write a book. It was one of those hard, but really good years.

Last year, my word was “intentional”. I wanted to be intentional in all that I did. I can’t say I did a perfect job with that one, but I have learned how important it is to be intentional, especially with my kids. To intentionally stop and enjoy coloring with my youngest, to read a book, or to play catch. To intentionally keep traditions that we started and talk about them with the kids. I was even more intentional in my writing and entered a few contests (nothing to brag about, but I did enter). I’ve learned that if I’m not intentional, it probably won’t happen – and time isn’t something you gain back once it is gone.

My word this year?

I came across this word Christmas Eve. It was after the meal, after the Christmas story had been read, after the presents had been opened, after skyping with family – after the kids were in bed asleep. It was while my husband was out to buy the bike for our youngest. We live in Asia, so not such a huge deal going out Christmas Eve to buy Christmas presents, although I don’t recommend it. I was all alone with a cup of tea. The light were off except for the white lights of the tree. All was quiet, except for the water trickling in the fish tank. My thoughts began to make a path around the events of the evening. I thought about the excitement of the kids as the time came for them to open presents, especially Jie Jie as she really understood what was going on. My mind replayed Mei Mei showing me her princess she had just colored. Then the phrase, But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19) came to my mind. I was doing just that – pondering. And that was when my one word came to me, “ponder”. I want to take the time to ponder over God’s blessings that day and over my family and the funny things they did or said. Who knows though, I may ponder over writing ideas, lesson plans, or Bible studies. There are a lot of things that I could ponder over. So, 2013, here’s to a year of treasuring – may you bring me lots of joy and happiness to ponder over in my heart. And if you bring some heartache and trials, then I’ll ponder over the lessons learned from them – but I’m really hoping for the joyful things to think about.

Your Turn: How do you plan for the New Year? Please share in the comments below your goals or your one word.

**If you want more information on the myoneword, you can check out their website.

And may each of you be blessed with peace and joy this year of 2013.

Happy New Year!

An Expat’s Letter to Santa

Posted on December 18, 2012 by MaDonna

Dear Santa,

I’m sure you are one busy man this time of year. I can’t imagine, as I only have three kids, not millions to check on. I don’t want to take up too much of your precious time, as I know you have quite a few of these letters to read. So, here it goes:

This year I’d like…

1. Language – the ability to communicate clearly with the locals around me. I know I could study more, but if you could just give me the language, then I would be able to understand the man on the phone telling me that a package has arrived for us and I need to get it soon. I’d also like to be able to read in this new language. It would be so helpful with the public notices in our elevator, especially today when the water went off during my shower. That would have been very helpful.

2. Lifetime of free airline tickets – Okay this maybe steep, but hey I’ve been REALLY good this year. I love to travel, but it just costs so much money to go places, especially with a family of five. So, maybe you could put at least a few years worth of free tickets in my stocking?

3. Cooking classes – A personal tutor to teach me how to make all the wonderful food that I have eaten in the various places that I have called home. It is difficult to find the exact same food after we move on to the next destination. I’d even settle for a recipe book, but they have to be authentic recipes. Please don’t send me the recipes that are westernized.

4. Home – Yes, this maybe the most difficult as we are not really sure where home is. To spend the holidays with the entire extended family each year would be just a dream come true. For us it’s difficult because my family and my in-laws live on different continents. You are creative, so I’m sure you will come up with a grand way for us to be able to celebrate with both families this year. (If it doesn’t workout, then I’ll settle for a GREAT connection on Skype.)

Thank you so much in advance. And in case you didn’t know, we no longer live where we did last year. In fact, we don’t even live in the same country. So, be sure to pay attention to the return address. Don’t worry though, I smuggled in my suitcase the special ingredients so I can make your favorite cookies.

Your Biggest and Most-Well Behaved Fan,

The Expat

Your Turn: I had fun thinking about what an expat might ask for. Now if you could ask Santa for anything, what would you ask for? Share in the comments below.

Be sure to subscribe if you’d like to read more about raising TCKs. You can also like the Facebook page. Both can be found on the right. Thanks!

*Photo Credit: Flickr, The Commons

Language and TCKs (raisingtcks.com)
A TCK’s Christmas Tree (raisingtcks.com)
An Expat’s Christmas Tree (raisingtcks.com)
Expats and travelers, the adage is true: There’s no place like home for the holidays (thedisplacednation.com)

“Rise of the Guardians” and my TCK

Posted on December 4, 2012 by MaDonna

My son just watched “Rise of the Guardians” a few nights ago with some friends. He came home and told my husband that it was a funny movie, but he had one question.

Who is the Sandman?

This could seem like a funny question, maybe even a dumb question to many parents. I mean, in today’s age kids have the opportunity to watch cable TV, Movie on Demand, Netflix, etc. One would think that they would be up-to-date on all the stories and fairy tales from their “home” country, right?

This is not always the case – and we need to remember that as parents. We can’t assume that they know everything about our home country. And with that assumption, we can’t assume that our kids will figure it out or transition well if/when they move there.

How can we help them?

I think the best way is to inform them that although they may look like everyone else, they will be different. Actually, they probably have already figured that out if they are in elementary school and have made the return trip to visit family. Although they may know this, do they know how to cope with it? Can we teach them how? Can we encourage them?

I think we can.

1. Clueless does not equal stupid. I believe this is an idea that many TCKs may battle with as they enter the “home” country and not know what everyone else round them seems to know. It could be TV shows, it could be an expression/idiom, or even a name of a candy. They will feel stupid, but they need to remember that they are not. We can help them by reminding them that they are going to experience it and that this situation is normal. They are definitely not stupid.

2. Laugh – Laughing brings healing and can soothe the heart. Learning to laugh at ourselves is not always easy, but it can be done. Kids need to see that everyone messes up and are not perfect. Maybe you can share with them a time you messed up culturally when you were home – because let’s get real, even we forget what “home” is like. Just this summer, I had trouble counting money in my home country – It’s moments like this that I want to use as a model for “marking it up” as a living-overseas moment for me. For them, a TCK moment. Nothing more.

3. Bridge-people – You may have heard this term when you first moved overseas – you know the person that can help you understand the new culture better, be the bridge for you. I think this is needed for older children who transition into their parent’s home country. They need someone around their age who can help them navigate the teenage/university cultural differences. Someone who has been there and can relate to them, possibly another TCK or mentor who understands the issues of TCKs.

Whoever thought that the one to bring sleep and good dreams would turn out to be the one that stumped a TCK. Thanks Sandman for helping me remember that though my kids live in a world of technology, they still will not get all of my home country’s culture.

Your Turn: What have you seen from your children in regards to “missing out” on the home culture and helping your children cope with this transition issue. Please share in the comments below.

*If you like what you are reading you can subscribe at the right and get the next posting in your inbox. Be sure to “like” RaisingTCKs Facebook page and read more articles from other authors about raising kids overseas.

Language and TCKs (raisingtcks.com)
Minimizing Culture Shock in Parent and Child (expatchild.com)
Saying Good-bye Stinks (raisingtcks.com)
5 Packing Tips for Visiting “Home” (raisingtcks.com)

Vacations and Special Needs – it can happen!

Posted on November 28, 2012 by MaDonna

Vacationing with children is SO different then the days before children. Before children Uwe and I would just pick a destination and plan around job schedules. Packing could be done the night before. Living abroad, travel was almost as easy as breathing.

Then child number one came and travel changed just a bit. Packing was focused more on what he needed and therefore took more planning. We still hiked up mountains and other non-child friendly activities. Our thoughts when choosing a destination was – If we can carry him in the backpack carrier, then we’ll do it. Once child number two came along traveling wasn’t nearly as easy as breathing. Then Jie Jie was diagnosed…and what seemed easy required much energy and planning. She required so much – feeding tubes, food to feed her, stroller, diapers, extra clothes, etc.

By the time child number three came along, we weren’t sure about traveling at all.

Those early years, when we had three under four-years of age, I learned something – keep my expectations low. Kids get sick on vacations. Kids get tired and grumpy on vacations. Kids might not like the vacation places you chose. And a whole lot of other things can go wrong, like the weather, the food, the room…you get the picture.

No as our kids are older, we involve them more with the vacation planning. We ask them their opinion. We look up the place on the internet or on Google Maps and let them see where we are going. We ask them what they would like to do while we are there.This has helped with Ge Ge and Mei Mei, but Jie Jie is different. With her we need a different approach.

We still involve her in the planning.

We show her the pictures of the parks, the playgrounds, the beaches, and any animals we might see. We tell her how we are going, whether it is by train, plane, boat, and or car. This gives her an idea of what we will be doing and gets her involved as well.

Flexibility

This is probably true for raising kids while living abroad, but for vacationing with special needs kids it’s very important. They don’t always respond the way you think they might and they may do better than what you thought. For instance, Jie Jie loves the beach and the sand. She likes fish and turtles, so I thought she might like snorkeling – well, a modified version of snorkeling. Geared up in her blue life-vest and mask, we walked her across the shallow reef to the edge. The plan was to let her look into the water, but after one short glance she was done. I’m not sure if it was the water that seeped into her mask, a darting bright blue fish, or just all the new experiences at once that caused her to freak out, but she was done. We didn’t force her to look anymore. We told her she did a great job and walked her back. She was perfectly content playing in the shallow water. Having flexibility allowed us to change plans – like I stayed with her on the beach while Uwe took the other two out snorkeling.

Try new things, but still keeping expectations low.

We do this not because we are negative thinking people, but because we try to be realistic. For instance, we just took a vacation to Xiao Liu Qiu, a small island off of Taiwan. This island is very small and doesn’t have many cars. Our original plan was to bike with the kids, but once we got there and saw the hills we knew that biking wasn’t going to work. We decided to try the scooters for a day and see how it went, not thinking Jie Jie would sit still and behave. She surprised us. She did just fine. We scootered around the whole time we were there.

Slow it down.

Don’t expect to do everything. As a family choose a few things and do those. Allow for breaks and even rest times in the room. We allow the kids to each choose one activity they would really like to do or see – then we do those things first. Sometimes Jie Jie can’t participate in the chosen activity – that’s when either I or Uwe take her to do something else.

Not every child is the same. This goes for special needs children as well. Just because your child may have some issues that are harder to deal with doesn’t mean that you can’t have a fun family vacation. With a bit of creativity and flexibility, you can even take more exotic trips with your whole family.

Your Turn: Have you traveled with your special needs child? What are some vacationing tips that you have when you go? Please share in the comments below.

Nontraditional Holiday? Why not? (raisingtcks.com)
Useful Tips to Remember when Travleing with Kids, from Mom (epicatravel.com)
Public Transportation and Children, including Special Needs.. (raisingtcks.com)
5 tips for International Traveling with Special Needs Children (raisingtcks.com)
Looking Past the Disability…gifts and talents (raisingtcks.com)

Nontraditional Holiday? Why not?

Posted on November 22, 2012 by MaDonna

For the ‘American’ part of our family, the big holiday is coming up quickly. You know, Thanksgiving. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potato souffle, pumpkin pie, and all the rest of the good stuff. In the past we’ve celebrated with fellow expats (aka adopted family) gathered around our own table or their table – or even larger gatherings where we rented space at the international school to feast.

This year is different.

This year we did not buy a turkey. I did not make stuffing. I didn’t even make a pumpkin pie. In fact, we are not even going to be home for Thanksgiving. We are leaving and taking a much needed mini vacation.

How do I feel about this? Actually, relieved. I’m not stressed about putting food together . I’m not worried about how Jie Jie is going to act/react at the gathering. I’m excited. We haven’t vacationed as a family in quite a while – like two years. We’ve gone to the US and visited family, but we didn’t go anywhere to shut off completely as a family. We’ve had stay-cations but we tend to work anyway. We need to go away with books and games. I can’t wait -(actually, by the time you read this we will already be gone).

Why be nontraditional when this is the time I should be teaching my children about “their home” culture?

1. The thought of being away from family is too much this year. This is what one of my friends told me as she related their plans for the Thanksgiving break. They were planning to not have a huge feast at their home as they have in years past, but instead go to a different city and help at an orphanage with a group of other expats. I thought this was a brilliant way to fight the holiday blues. Go and serve others. And with that they are teaching their kids empathy for others.

2. The thought of doing anymore work is going to kill me. This is me, I raise my hand waving my white flag. I’m tired and the thought of cooking and prepping makes me swoon. And we have an “I Am a Hero Game” that we will travel six hours for the day before, so we decided to add time away and explore a small island off the main island.

I totally agree that holidays are a great way to teach kids about your own home culture. It helps them relate and understand where they came from. I understand that and agree. I get the full blown celebrations with all the fun crafts, food, and pre-recorded football games. I have done this – except the football game. We are European football fans, not so much the American football. So, my kids are not going to get a turkey this year. Will they survive? YES.

We really went wild this year – we put up our tree before Thanksgiving! We usually do this the weekend following Thanksgiving, but I wanted to come back to a decorated apartment.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to you all! If you are eating turkey and pumpkin pie I wish you well as I sit at the beach reading a book and watching the kids play in the ocean. I’m thankful for time with my family.

Your Turn: How do you celebrate holidays? Do you go all out with every tradition? Do you ever do a nontraditional type of holiday? Please share in the comments below.

*If you’d like to read more about raising TCKs, please subscribe at the top right. You can also join us on Facebook.

Adoption Awareness Month: Our story

Posted on November 12, 2012 by MaDonna

Why did you adopt? asked an elderly Chinese lady at the playground.

Why not? I asked her back.

She shrugged and said it was not Chinese culture to do such things. I nodded in understanding, but saddened that it wasn’t. This mini-conversation took place a little over five years ago in mainland China. The lady wasn’t mean or snide. She truly wanted to know why I would choose to adopt a child whose ancestors we know nothing about.

Why did you adopt? asked a young mother holding her crippled boy.

You know that I’m a Christian, and well it was God. I really honestly can’t explain it any other way. I answered back not sure how she would react to my response. We had just discussed therapy exercises that Jie Jie was doing. (In case you are new, Jie Jie is my daughter with Cri-du-Chat; Mei Mei is my adopted Chinese daughter). I knew that she was thinking we were crazy for adopting after knowing we had a special needs daughter.

The above, I’m sure, is what most people think when they first meet our family. It may even have been your thought when you read our “About Me” page. I know that would be my first thought reading such a thing about another family. Are they crazy?

Honestly, I can only say it was a God-thing. Before Jie Jie was born, we fostered a newborn orphan for ten months. I was not able to adopt at that time due to my age, and we moved to a new city and couldn’t take her with us. She was almost a year old when we left her with a kind Chinese lady who we trusted. It was so difficult, but peaceful.

It was God’s plan.

After Jie Jie was born, we looked into the adoption process, but a few weeks later Jie Jie was very ill, which led to the mountain of tests and onto the summit of the result: Cri-du-Chat with silent aspiration. Our dreams of adopting were zapped. We really believed that with her physical needs – and not to leave out the medical bills – there would be no way that we could even think about adopting at that point.

Two months later, back in our city in mainland China, we received the news that the little Chinese girl that we had fostered was taken back to the orphanage. We were mortified and sick. We prayed about it. Uwe asked me what was holding me back with adopting – was it Jie Jie’s needs or money. Jie Jie’s needs were not that “difficult”, we were able to feed her very easily and I was doing therapy with her at home. It was money. He felt the same. We decided right there that IF God was wanting us to adopt, then He’d provide the finances to pay off the medical bills and for the adoptions.

Long story short, God provided for all of those things to happen within two months. The surprise was that this little girl that we had fostered was not the girl God had in mind for us to adopt. In a matter of a few weeks, after we had our home study completed (which was a miracle to get an appointment so quickly), we found out that the fostered girl had been adopted.

Grief, sadness, mixed with anger swept my husband and I. Though, as we searched our hearts and God, we realized that His plan was this: To just use this foster girl as a catalyst to get Mei Mei into our family. (I believe He used it to cause the family who was fostering her to adopt her as well. She was back in their home in about two months time.) **By the way,we had asked this family if they were adopting or not and they had told us “No” in words, but in Chinese culture were telling us “Yes”. A lesson learned in culture clashing – in a later post, maybe.

We never would have seriously considered adopting had the foster child not been taken back. God used that tough situation to move us forward.

So see, I really can’t answer that question any other way. It really was God who brought Mei Mei into our family and I will be forever grateful that He did. I love that bundle of energy and passionate little girl.

The month of November is apparently Adoption Awareness Month. I really hadn’t heard of it until just last week, but what a great idea. There are so many children around the world in need of a home. Don’t worry, I’m not going to pressure you to make a commitment to adopt, but I would like you to at least give it a thought.

If you know you can’t adopt or even foster, what can you do to help these kids out? Ask the local social worker, schools, or orphanages how you can help them. At the very least, you could pray for these children to find forever families of their own.

Your Turn: If you have adopted share your story. It doesn’t have to be an overseas adoption. If you are thinking about it and have any questions, please ask. I will try to answer if I can. Please comment below.

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National Adoption Week – could you adopt? (thesun.co.uk)
Identity Crisis for TCKs and the Adopted Child (raisingtcks.com)

raisingTCKs

one mother's journey raising third culture kids

Category Archives: Parenting

Meeting a Famous TCK

Field-Trip Madness

Debunking the Excuse Rail – Part 2

Debunking the Excuse Rail – Part 1

Aside

Thoughts of the New Year

An Expat’s Letter to Santa

“Rise of the Guardians” and my TCK

Vacations and Special Needs – it can happen!

Nontraditional Holiday? Why not?

Adoption Awareness Month: Our story

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