Category Archives: Book Reviews

Book Review: ABRAHAM’S DAUGHTER by Joy Smalley

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ABRAHAM’S DAUGHTER: Healing Trauma from a Childhood in Missions

Written by Joy Smalley

Published: 2023

Genre: Memoir

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Joy Smalley writes a memoir as a missionary kid growing up in Mongolia. Though born in the US, at the age of ten her parents moved her and her siblings to Mongolia. Life was hard and and neglect for ministry was normal. She grew up believing that everyone experienced what she did as a child. As she matured and had children of her own, the chinks of this belief began to break. Her body began to show signs from years of “holding it together.” Her belief was challenged: Was God who He said He was? All this led to believing that life was not worth living. She sought help from a licensed therapist who helped her navigate her childhood story and gave her a name for it: trauma. Within each chapter, Joy bounces from her childhood story to the couch in the therapist’s office gripping the pillow with fringe. By writing in such a way, Joy allows the reader to see a glimpse of her story while allowing an explanation of what was going on emotionally. It is through this storytelling/explanation that we realize that her childhood coping strategies were no longer working. Through storytelling, she is able to show how triggers can set someone off with PTSD or even Complex PTSD, but also the road in which they can take to healing emotionally and spiritually.

Recommendation:

This was a challenging read and could trigger anyone who experienced neglect or childhood trauma in missions. With that said, it is a well-written book. Joy has a gift of words and storytelling that will keep you wanting to turn the pages. As a short-term counselor, I appreciated her framework for writing this memoir. It was a good balance of story and therapy. It is not a “self-help” book but a memoir of her healing journey. I recommend it to any parent of TCKs, educators of TCKs, and counselors/therapists/spiritual directors who work with TCKs. Each person’s story is unique, but reading Joy’s story could give you an idea of what other TCK/MKs may be battling. Or at the least give the challenge to sit and listen to their stories which could help them unravel their own knotted beliefs and emotions.

Book Review: SAM’S ROOMMATE DISASTER by Anna Danforth

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SAM’S ROOMMATE DISASTER

by Anna Danforth

Genre: Middle Grade Novel

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary

Sam, a fifth-grade boy, is a missionary kid (MK) in the jungles of Congo. His best friend and roommate at the dorm has left, and he is stuck with a new roommate who is awful. Jordan does not seem to like Sam and is a terrible roommate, but everyone else likes him. Sam can’t figure it out. Through some pretty wild, unforgettable adventures, Sam has to make a decision whether he and Jordan can work out their differences or if maybe Sam has misunderstood Jordan all along.

Recommendation

Anna Danforth brings true stories of her husband’s childhood to life in this middle-grade novel. It is for ages 8-12 year-olds. Books are needed for the TCK/MK population, and this book is a good start. It has a strong beginning that will have you turning the pages to find out what is next, but I found that the main plot fizzled towards the middle. The friendship plot did not have enough twists and turns to help keep the story moving forward. It was solved in them in the middle of the story, which left the plot with not a real climax or resolution. But with that said, Sam is very relatable and the adventures he and his friends have are very memorable. I do think young MKs will enjoy reading about a fellow missionary kid who understands some of the challenges of living overseas and living in a dorm.

Book Review: Help! My Kid Won’t Go to School!

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Help! My Kid Won’t Go to School! Finding Hope on a Bad Day

by Katie Fowle and Sharoya Ham

Published: 2023

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

This short (102 pages) book explains what school refusal is and explains the background on why kids struggle with going to school. Fowle and Ham team up to write a book that not only gives the why but explains how some parents are unaware of how their reactions encourage children to not attend school. Fowle is the parent who struggled with this issue and her passion to help other parents from what she has learned is evident in this book. Ham’s experience and knowledge makes this a resource parents can begin using right away. They offer practical tips to use at home and how to work with the school to help children learn the skill of willingness. Each chapter has questions that help the reader plan and continue to move forward towards the goal. This book is for parents or caregivers of children that are 9+ years old.

Recommendation:

If you are struggling with school refusal in your home, then I do think this book would be helpful. It focuses on the importance of the relationship between the parent and child. I have read educational articles on school absenteeism, but this is the first publication I have read coming from the parent’s point of view. The articles I read were all based in the US, but I am sure there are expat parents who may also struggle with this issue and may feel alone and possibly hopeless. This book is practical and easy to read. The exercises and suggestions can be used right away. Though they do warn that this is a process of change and not a problem that can be fixed overnight. Fowle is an educator and dyslexia specialist who tutors expat children around the globe. Ham is a behavior specialist and international parent coach.

Book Review: BREATHE by Bonnie Gray

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BREATHE: 21 Days to Stress Less and Transform Chaos to Calm

by Bonnie Gray

Published: 2023

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Bonnie Gray shares what she learned during a period of time when she was overwhelmed with life’s pressures that was stemmed from her childhood. She battled anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. Through scientific research and Biblical scripture, Bonnie developed a rhythm that she uses with her sons. She has also mentored “from Army officers to teenagers to every day moms and dads” (p. 13). This book is divided into four sections: Emotional Wellness, Physical Wellness, Spiritual Wellness, and Social Wellness. Each chapter also has four parts as well – Refresh, Release, Restore, and Reflect. But before you dive into the book, Bonnie invites you to take her free Soul Care Quiz. This will allow you to see which area you need to slow down in and work on.

Recommendation?

Living overseas brings about many transitions. And with transitions comes stress – anxiety, possible panic attacks, and maybe even some lows that need to be addressed. This book is a valuable tool for those who need to slow down but are unsure how. It offers an intentional, structured way to practice individually or in a small group. It is geared towards Christianity with the use of breath prayers. There is so many resources out there, but I found this one to have a good mix of science, Biblical based and practical.

Book Review: LOST COLONY by Tonio Andrade

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Book Review: MISUNDERSTOOD by Tanya Crossman

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MISUNDERSTOOD: The impact of growing up overseas in the 21st century

by Tanya Crossman

Published: 2016 by Summertime Publishing

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary

Misunderstood is a resource book for ATCKs, those who support TCKs, and those who are raising them. Tanya noticed differences between older ATCKs and those born after the 1980s. Through research and interviews, Tanya shares the insights she gained. This book is divided into six chapters. It covers the basics of TCKs and CCKs and how the definition is shifting somewhat. Tanya writes about the various experiences of TCK life from military to missionary, but also non-traditional to international education families. I appreciated this section as it is not always covered in other books that I’ve read.

Tanya spends a good deal of time on transition, grief, and starting over again..and again..and again. It is essential for anyone working with TCKs to understand the difficulties it can cause. The book ends with a chapter on what she titles “The Inner Lives of TCKs” and “The Future for TCKs.” Both chapters offer insights into TCKs of the 21st century and how they view life.

Why You Should Read This Book

Tanya has become known as a researcher of third culture kids (TCKs). She is currently the Director of Research for TCK Training. So, it’s no wonder this book is filled with statistics and quotes from many TCKs she interviewed. It is also filled with wisdom from other top researchers such as Doug Ota and Ruth Van Reken.

You can tell from all of my sticky notes that it is a good book. If you are seriously considering moving overseas with your child, even if you are an ATCK, this book is a rich resource. I also would recommend it to organizations who work with TCKs.

Book Review: BEING ELISABETH ELLIOT by Ellen Vaughn

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BEING ELISABETH ELLIOT

by Ellen Vaughn

Biography, Published in 2023

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Being Elisabeth Elliot is the second book in the two-book biography series by Ellen Vaughn. She weaves historical events, life events, and Elisabeth’s thoughts from her private journal in both books. The first book is Becoming Elisabeth Elliot. It covers her early years, her courtship with Jim, and their brief marriage. It ends with her decision to leave Ecuador with her daughter, Valerie, to settle and begin life in North America.

Being Elisabeth Elliot begins with her adjustment from the communal culture of the people living in the jungles of Ecuador to New England suburbs and the harsh winters. Many people may be familiar with Elisabeth’s speeches, writings, and radio programs. Still, Ellen Vaughn shares Elisabeth’s unknown personal struggles – her struggle to be published and the criticism of her earlier works.

Ellen also shares how Elisabeth unexpectedly fell in love again while trying to do what was right. There are a few surprises about the person and character of Elisabeth Elliot that were unknown to the public and maybe only known in her private journal. Those surprises have caused a little stir in some circles on social media and possibly within close-net friendships and book clubs. I will not disclose those surprises, but I will share that I found some relief after reading this book. Relief that this woman, who so many look up to, is human. Like you. Like me. She was not perfect. Elisabeth failed in some areas of her life. However, one evident thing was that Elisabeth loved God and honestly wanted to do what was right until the end. Some may even say that the desire to do what was “right” may have been too strong, but you will have to decide on your own after you read the book.

Why Read this Book?

Elisabeth Elliot was a missionary, a wife, and a mother who lived in Ecuador and repatriated back to her passport country, the U.S. Like many who have repatriated, hers was bumpy along this path of transition. I loved that this biography was not polished and clean. Ellen Vaughn does an excellent job telling the truth while still honoring the main character, Elisabeth Elliot – a woman many admire.

Book Review: SERVING AT THE ENDS OF THE EARTH by Steve and Gill Bryant

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SERVING AT THE ENDS OF THE EARTH: Family life and TCKs, 3rd edition

by Steve and Gill Bryant

Published: 2017

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Serving at the Ends of the Earth is divided into seven sections. Steve and Gill begin by laying a foundation for what a missionary kid (MK) or third culture kid (TCK) is. They devote a section on transition describing what it is like, ideas to help with re-entry, and even a chapter for those times when a family may suddenly need to leave the host country without warning. Another section deals with parenting TCKs and has a chapter on cross-cultural marriages, which is nice as there are not a lot of resources on this topic. These sections are helpful and bring up some points that would be good for spouses/partners to discuss during all stages of transition.

I appreciated the last three sections of the book. First, one section deals with the heavy topic of dangerous situations and keeping children safe. This section was practical and is something that more and more organizations are becoming more educated in. I was glad to see it in this book as parents also need to be educated and know practical ways to keep their children safe.

The next section was about non-American TCKs. I appreciated this section because much of the literature comes from this background, and it is so good to read about what TCKs from other parts of the world experience. Their experiences are different and the challenges of repatriating or transitioning to university can be tricky. If you work in international schools, mission organizations, or HR departments of companies that have missionaries/global workers from all over the world, then I highly recommend this book just for this section alone.

The book’s last section is near and dear to my heart – educational issues. They discuss the different options, as well as their advantages and disadvantages. Another chapter deals with boarding schools. These two chapters are logical and can really help parents figure out what is best for each of their children. The authors point out that children are different and could need different educational options to help them grow and mature. The last chapter is on special education. Most of this chapter described various impairments, but the last few pages had guidelines for parents of children with special needs and for the sending agency. While I’m glad they included this chapter, I had a lot of questions after reading it, especially regarding their recommendations about MK schools being willing and able to take these students. While one would think it might be true, in reality there are few. But that is for another post at another time.

Though the audience of this book is missionary families and those who work with them, I see benefits to any global mobile family or organization/company that works with them to better understand what families need to consider when making a big move.

Book Review: BECOMING MORE FRUITFUL by Amy Young

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BECOMING MORE FRUITFUL IN CROSS-CULTURAL WORK: How to be Free in Christ and Rooted in Reality as You Fulfill Your Call

by Amy Young

Published: 2022 by Messy Middle Press

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

In this book, Amy Young dives into what is known as “The Fruit of the Spirit” from Galatians 5:22-23. If you are unfamiliar with this phrase or this passage, here is a quick summary. Paul lists nine characteristics Christians have in Christ. This is not a devotional or a sermon, so I will not explain why Christians do not always produce or show these fruits well. Amy does a nice job with that. But, here are the fruit listed from the Galatians passage: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. She also explains why Paul calls the nine the “fruit of the spirit” instead of “fruits.”

The book is divided into three sections. Amy shows how the first three characteristics mentioned point upward to our relationship with God. The second section focuses on the next three characteristics and how they reflect (or should reflect) towards others. The last section reveals how the last three characteristics relate to our self.

The book is easy to read, and the concepts are simple. Her audience is cross-cultural workers, but I see how it can be used for any Christian wanting to grow in their faith and knowledge of God. My only criticism is that I wish she had added some questions at the end of each chapter that would cause me to stop and reflect on my life. Instead, I felt like I had read the chapter, nodding in understanding and acknowledgment, but was not challenged to examine my life. Maybe if I had read this book with a group of others and discussed the concepts more, I would feel differently.

Overall, it is a good book if you want a basic understanding of Paul’s characteristics in Galatians. But, if you want to grow, I recommend reading it with a study group.

Workshop Review: Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101

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Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101

Company: Unstacking Company

Instructor: Lauren Wells

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Grief is common to all humans. It is something we all experience at some point in our life. It does not matter if we are rich or poor, healthy or not, or what country or culture we come from. At some point in our life, we all will experience grief.

We often equate grief with death. And although death is a big season of grief, it is one of many reasons we experience grief. Grief comes because of loss. Of course, death is a significant loss – and so the grieving is deeper and harder. But grief also visits when a friend moves away, or we move, or when we lose a job, or [you fill in the blank].

This workshop is a course in grief processing. Specifically, Lauren instructs the viewer about her model of grief – The Grief Tower. I have reviewed two books that she wrote about the Grief Tower Model. (And she has a new book coming out in March that you can pre-order here). I have also reviewed the other video for someone who is in current grief. If you are currently going through something hard, I highly suggest you read my review and check out that 35-minute video to help you process that “block” on your grief tower.

If you do not know what a “block” is or what the Grief Tower Model is, AND you are not currently processing deep grief, then keep reading.

Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101 is a 60-minute workshop teaching the Grief Tower Model. Lauren takes you through the theory behind this. But she also guides you to process a less heavy block on your own grief tower. I found the step-by-step process easy to follow and a good way to practice using the model. This workshop will help you process for yourself and help someone else process their own block(s) as well. I appreciated this workshop because Lauren talked through visceral signs to look for in yourself or the person you are working with to know when to pause and take a break.

As always, Unstacking Company warns that this workshop should never take the place of therapy. Seek help from a counselor.*

*I am a short-term counselor if you do not know where to find one. Please reach out by email or go to my company’s website, Global Crossroads Consulting. I do offer a 30-minute free consultation.