Category Archives: Book Reviews

Book Review: MOVING ON SERIES by Claire Holmes

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  1. LEAVING WELL ACTIVITY BOOK
  2. ARRIVING WELL ACTIVITY BOOK
  3. MOVING ON FACILITATOR’S GUIDE

by Claire Holmes

Published: 2023

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate.

Summary:

Claire Holmes is Head of School Counselling at Tanglin Trust School, Singapore. She has worked with TCKs for 14 years. This small piece of information significantly impacted why I wanted to review this series. Plus, the fact that it is for the younger TCKs is something I feel has been lacking.

There are two workbooks with one facilitator’s guide. Both workbooks are filled with activities that help children process their emotions and thoughts about transition. You can buy the workbooks individually or in a bundle with the facilitator’s guide.

LEAVING WELL:

Claire uses activities that start when the parent(s) tell the child they are leaving. She has the children look at their feelings using an adapted chart of culture shock but does not use that vocabulary. Many people who have lived overseas for long have heard of RAFT. It is a great tool, but the concepts are challenging for children in the age group. Claire uses GUTSS but has the same concepts as RAFT, just in simpler terms.

ARRIVING WELL:

In this workbook, Claire begins by letting children chart their times of transition on a timeline. She has various activities to help children recognize stress in their bodies but also provides ways to cope that help relieve anxiety. Again, the simplified version of the Stages of Culture Shock graph is used to help children name the emotions they may be feeling at this time in the move. She ends the workbook with ten tips and appropriate activities to help transition into a new place.

FACILITATOR’S GUIDE:

This book is designed like a teacher’s manual. Every activity in both workbooks offers the rationale for the activity, how to set the scene for the activity, materials needed, directions for the activity, tips to make it easier, and extension activities that you can add if you would like. I have not tried the manual, but it seems easy to use with clear directions.

Overall, I think this is a perfect resource tool for the school to help younger children who are ready to move or have just moved to the school. I like that Claire used vocabulary that helps children at this age grasp the concepts of transitions while offering them space to process their emotions. I believe that giving children language to express their feelings empowers them to communicate clearly and better understand what they are experiencing during this significant life event. Claire does mention that the LEAVING WELL workbook should be started around eight weeks before departure. I agree, but I would also encourage you to start earlier with the goodbye pages so that if there are any lasts, you as a family can not only plan them but have time to make them happen.

Book Review: ESSENTIALS FOR PEOPLE CARE AND DEVELOPMENT, edited by Geoff Whiteman and Heather Pubols

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ESSENTIALS FOR PEOPLE CARE AND DEVELOPMENT: A Collection of Best Practices, Research, Reflections, and Strategies

Edited by: Geoff Whiteman and Heather Pubols

Published: 2023

*Please note as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

This book is a collection of articles written by researchers, leaders of member care, and counselors who work with global workers. The forward, written by Laura Mae Gardner and Brent Lindquist – pioneers of member care- encourages and praises this collection but also challenges everyone to keep researching as they see member care continue to change and grow in the future.

The book is divided into two sections. The first section is titled “Engaging the Cross in Member Care,” touching on suffering, resilience, reasons for attrition, trauma care, and how the gift of hospitality can be used in member care. The second section is titled “Engaging Our Changing World in Member Care” This section challenges the collaboration of mission organizations with the sending churches to better support those that are sent overseas. It offers practical suggestions such as checking for family preparations, child safety, conflicts on the team, and how team dynamics are affected by different attitudes and personalities of supervisors.

An individual can use this book to understand member care and how to improve one’s own part. But it can also be used in a small group as a springboard for professional development. Each article has questions at the end that can be used for discussion, along with a list of other resources that can be used to research further. I found that after reading each chapter, I wanted to discuss the topics as I had more questions or did not always agree completely with what was written. That said, I think it an excellent book because a book that makes you think and want to discuss is a good book.

Book Review: SERVING WELL by Elizabeth and Jonathan Trotter

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SERVING WELL: Help for the Wannabe, Newbie, or Weary Cross-Cultural Christian Worker

by Elizabeth and Jonathan Trotter

Published: 2019

*Please note as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Serving Well is a compilation of short articles and blog posts that Elizabeth and Jonathan wrote during their time in SE Asia and after their return to the States. It is organized in such a way that readers can easily find topics that apply to what they are looking for. In fact there are eleven sections: Preparing Well, Moving Well, Grieving Well, Talking Care of Your Heart Well, Taking Care of Your Marriage Well, Taking Care of Your Children Well, Working Well, Anticipating Well, Recalculating Well, Communicating Well, and Returning Well. The book really covers from preparing to leave to returning and everything in between.

Neither author expected to be writers, but they have developed the craft of writing and produced a book that is a useful resource for any family about to embark on this journey of living overseas. My only critique was that they had an article titled, “A Letter to Singles” that was directed to single women missionaries, not all singles. I do think that if they ever write a second edition, adding some articles to each section for singles would be make this book a valuable resource for any mission organization or member care team.

Overall, I do recommend it for families living abroad.

Workshop Review: Processing Current Grief with Unstacking Company

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Processing Current Grief

Company: Unstacking Company

Instructor: Lauren Wells

Grief. It is not something anyone likes to talk about, but it is one of the most important emotions that needs to be discussed. Many cultures do not know how to grieve and therefore people are left with coping strategies that may help them survive the grief but become an unhealthy coping mechanism.

That is why I was pleased when I heard that the Unstacking Company was producing some self-directed videos to help people walk through their grief. This 35-minute video is packed with some good information.

Lauren first explains a little about the Grief Tower Model and how this video looks at just one of the major blocks on the tower. This block could be some significant loss, such as a move, a death, a diagnosis, or anything that seems really hard. She then goes into coping strategies that people use and how they are helpful, but also highlights when those strategies become unhealthy. This is helpful for self-evaluation of your own coping mechanisms that you might be using.

I felt that the analogy of being underwater was helpful in understanding where a person is and how they are feeling. Lauren then offers suggestions to process those feelings depending on how deep you feel you are in the water.

Unstacking Company is very clear that this video is NOT intended for those in the midst of severe grief and trauma. Nor is it for anyone with thoughts of suicide or thoughts of hurting someone else. Lauren is very clear that it is always best to get help from a professional if the grief is too deep.

I do recommend this video to anyone who wants to learn how to grieve in a healthy way because that is one of the commonalities of humanity. We all suffer in some way.

I also recommend it to someone who just experienced a loss and needs information about why they are feeling the way they do. It is a good introduction to grief and will help you decide if you need further help with a professional.

*Please note as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Book Review: ARRIVING WELL by Cate Brubaker, Doreen Cumberford, Helen Watts

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ARRIVING WELL: Stories about identity, belonging and rediscovering home after living abroad 

By Cate Brubaker, Doreen Cumberford, and Helen Watts

Published 2018

  • Please note as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Book Review:

ARRIVING WELL is a collection of five stories from people who moved to their passport country after an extended time living overseas. Otherwise known as repatriating. Each story is short and easy to read. Though there are only five stories, they come from a rich background across the globe; not just from one common country. The stories are real and vulnerable to the point of sharing their failures. Two of the contributors include Jerry Jones and Michael Pollock. 

After each story, the three authors collaborated, offering their thoughts and wisdom as transition coaches. They highlight main points from each story while offering questions for the reader to continue processing their own journey. At the end of the book, they list ways that they can be contacted, along with their websites where more resources can be found. At the time of writing this review, all the links worked. 

I would recommend this book to those who have moved or are about to embark on this move to their passport country. I believe it will help them begin to think about what struggles they may meet, but also seeing the struggles of others can help normalize some of the emotions and feelings that they are going through. I will note that it does not talk about how children may be experiencing this transition, but I do believe that healthy parent(s) will help a child(ren) needing help. 

Book Review: BELONGING BEYOND BORDERS by Megan C. Norton

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BELONGING BEYOND BORDERS: How Adult Third Culture Kids Can Cultivate a Sense of Belonging

by Megan C. Norton

*Please note as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

This is a good resource/workbook for any young adult about to go into adulthood, but especially for TCKs. Megan is the daughter of a US diplomat, so she understands the ins and outs of being a TCK. She has taken time to write about what she has learned from experience, but also through research to help adult TCKs thrive in adulthood.

As human beings we all have the desire to belong; to know and be known. Megan explains how finding community and growing roots in that community is the key to belonging. She gives practical examples of how to do this. She acknowledges that before one can really be known by others, they must really know their own identity. She allows for the reader to look past their identity of being a “third culture kid” to explore explore their values and to realize their own core identity. Through this I feel she helps to normalize the confusion of wanting community, but feeling lost in how to get it. Throughout the book, Megan uses the analogy of a garden. This analogy is more then just “growing deeper roots”. She uses the science behind some gardening techniques used by avid gardeners to explain her points. And she does it in a way that the reader does not need to be a gardener to understand. I feel this quote from the end of the book reveals the heart of the book, “Gardens are places where you can bury your troubles, griefs, and pain and grow beautiful, new life. Gardens become (re)generative spaces that offer healing and harmony” (p. 291).

Book Review: RAISING A FAMILY OVERSEAS by Anna Danforth

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RAISING A FAMILY OVERSEAS: Building Connection with Your Family and Host Culture During Transition

by Anna Danforth

*Please note as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

This guide book is designed for families that are about to embark on a family adventure of living overseas. Anna surveyed over a hundred people that included parents, but also third culture kids, on the good and the hard of living overseas as a family. The people surveyed were from a variety of backgrounds that included military families, expats, families working in non-profit work and those in ministry. Anna uses quotes from the survey throughout the book, but also references from other resources that speak on TCKs, living overseas, and family connection in general. This makes the book stand out from some of the other guidebooks that have been published.

The book is organized in three sections which makes it easy for the reader to directly read the chapters that apply for that moment in time. Anna took time to write a good chunk on preparing to leave which includes a chapter on fundraising and what to do that last week before leaving. The second section is titled “Going” and involves ideas for your family while traveling to the new location. The last section is about living in the new location and how to go from scary to thriving. Throughout the book, Anna offers practical ideas and tips from her own experience and from those who took time to fill out the survey.

One of my favorite quotes seems to be a theme throughout the book. Anna writes, “Having a successful family experience in a new country is not contingent upon having a positive experience. It is contingent upon family connection, despite how good or bad your experience is” (p19). If you are about to embark on this journey with children, then I do recommend this book. If you are already living overseas with your family and looking for new ways to connect with your family you might be interested in this book as well.

*I did receive an ARC of this book from the author to review, but the above book review is my honest opinion.

Book Review: GIRL UPROOTED by Lena Lee

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Girl Uprooted: A Memoir

by Lena Lee

Genre: Memoir

Published: 2023

*Please note that as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Lena tells her story of growing up as the daughter of a South Korean diplomat. She shares the hardships of balancing the traditions of Confucian values at home and western thoughts and culture in the various countries and international schools she attended. Lena is honest in what brought her joy as a child, what confused her and what she is still learning about herself today. Often she is confronted with the typical question that many TCKs deal with: “Where is home? Where do I belong?”. But, as more research is showing these questions are complicated, especially for TCKs not from a western culture.

The reader is invited into Lena’s life. She is vulnerable in what she shares, which makes her brave. She has a strong voice, which is something I love in books. Her story is unique because it is her story, but I believe that the issues she battled is not unique to many TCKs who come from families of cultures that are similar to hers. She brings a face, a life, to the research that is being done.

I highly recommend it to teachers at international schools and are not familiar with East Asian cultures. I honestly believe it will help teachers understand their student(s) better – to maybe even give them the right questions to ask as their students navigate life. Adolescence is not always easy, and we need to have better understanding so that we can help. I believe it is a must read for international educators as Lena shares what your students may not feel comfortable sharing with you unless you build that relationship and ask.

I do give warning that this book is for more mature readers (upper level high-school and above) because of the issues of mental health issues of anxiety and depression.

Book Review: FROM BURNED OUT TO BELOVED by Bethany Dearborn Hiser

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From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers

by Bethany Dearborn Hiser

*Please note as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Bethany has worn many hats that involve “secondary trauma”, so her book comes from a place of experience and understanding. She invites the reader into her own personal story of burnout and recovery. She explains that trauma affects everyone who is exposed. This includes the people who listen to the stories of survivors. This is “secondary trauma”.

The back cover really describes this book well: “It’s a trauma-informed soul care guide for all Christians working in high-stress, helping professions.”

The book is divided into four-parts titled: Centering, Unpacking, Recovering, and Thriving. Each chapter offers reflection questions to help the reader process and tend to their own souls. She also provides exercises to help, as well as, other resources for further help and guidance.

Bethany doesn’t offer answers or a prescribed formula, but rather guides the reader in their own journey to taking care of their own soul.

I highly recommend this, but with a few warnings. Know that you will need to slow down and make space in your life to do the hard work. It will take time, and that this book is to help prevent burnout. So, if you are passed prevention, seek support from a trusted counselor who can walk alongside you.

Book Review: GRIT TO STAY GRACE TO GO by Sue Eenigenburg and Eva Burkholder

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Grit to Stay Grace to Go: Staying Well in Cross-Cultural Ministry

by Sue Eenigenburg and Eva Burkholder

Published: 2023

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate.

Sue and Eva wrote this book with global workers in mind. Both authors have spent many years overseas with several relocations, so they have personal experience writing this book. But they also interviewed countless others and researched articles and books, making their work stand out.

It is a workbook designed to be helpful to those who stay, those who leave, and those who are trying to decide what they should do. A section is dedicated to each of those groups. Every chapter includes reflection questions with biblical passages to reflect on, response questions to dig a bit deeper, a short prayer, and a list of resources that offers readers other articles, books, or videos to help them even further.

Whether you are a newbie or a veteran, I highly recommend this book because I believe you will refer to it repeatedly.