Tag Archives: MK

Book Review: BECOMING CLEAR by Claire Collins Friesen

Posted on by
Reply

Becoming Clear

by Claire Collins Friesen

Genre: Memoir (of a TCK)

Published: 2025

Summary:

Claire shares her life as a missionary kid (MK). She grew up in the Philippines but moved to the US in high school when her family decided to leave. During her senior year of high school, she returns to her MK school, where she realizes that things are the same, but she is not. She bounces around from university, Kenya, the Phillippines, university, and then South Korea. Her struggles in searching for her identity come to a head when she moves to Argentina. It is here that she faces many of the same themes that she faced in Filipino culture as a young adult. A dear school friend since grade school in the Philippines challenges her to write her story. And in doing so, Claire finds clarity and understanding in who she really is as a TCK, an introvert, and a high sensitive person.

Recommendations:

Memoirs are difficult to write. The art of not sounding like a journal entry that has details that do not move the story forward is one reason. The other is telling the story without defaming the character of others who are part of your story. It’s tricky. Claire shares the inner thoughts of a TCK/MK, which is something that is brave to do. It helps those who are teaching them, raising them, and anyone thinking about moving overseas with their children. She doesn’t hold back. And for that, I applaud her. But I did find myself skimming pages that dealt with the comings and goings of events, which felt more like a journal entry and did not really move the story forward. This is Claire’s first book. Her descriptions of the beauty of the land and the people to the stark contrast of poverty she witnessed as both a child and an adult leave you with the same questioning she wrestled with.

If you work with MKs or are raising them, then I do recommend this book because it is a more modern memoir that is relevant to many of the issues that MKs deal with today.

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Book Review: ABRAHAM’S DAUGHTER by Joy Smalley

Posted on by
Reply

ABRAHAM’S DAUGHTER: Healing Trauma from a Childhood in Missions

Written by Joy Smalley

Published: 2023

Genre: Memoir

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Joy Smalley writes a memoir as a missionary kid growing up in Mongolia. Though born in the US, at the age of ten her parents moved her and her siblings to Mongolia. Life was hard and and neglect for ministry was normal. She grew up believing that everyone experienced what she did as a child. As she matured and had children of her own, the chinks of this belief began to break. Her body began to show signs from years of “holding it together.” Her belief was challenged: Was God who He said He was? All this led to believing that life was not worth living. She sought help from a licensed therapist who helped her navigate her childhood story and gave her a name for it: trauma. Within each chapter, Joy bounces from her childhood story to the couch in the therapist’s office gripping the pillow with fringe. By writing in such a way, Joy allows the reader to see a glimpse of her story while allowing an explanation of what was going on emotionally. It is through this storytelling/explanation that we realize that her childhood coping strategies were no longer working. Through storytelling, she is able to show how triggers can set someone off with PTSD or even Complex PTSD, but also the road in which they can take to healing emotionally and spiritually.

Recommendation:

This was a challenging read and could trigger anyone who experienced neglect or childhood trauma in missions. With that said, it is a well-written book. Joy has a gift of words and storytelling that will keep you wanting to turn the pages. As a short-term counselor, I appreciated her framework for writing this memoir. It was a good balance of story and therapy. It is not a “self-help” book but a memoir of her healing journey. I recommend it to any parent of TCKs, educators of TCKs, and counselors/therapists/spiritual directors who work with TCKs. Each person’s story is unique, but reading Joy’s story could give you an idea of what other TCK/MKs may be battling. Or at the least give the challenge to sit and listen to their stories which could help them unravel their own knotted beliefs and emotions.

Book Review: SERVING AT THE ENDS OF THE EARTH by Steve and Gill Bryant

Posted on by
Reply

SERVING AT THE ENDS OF THE EARTH: Family life and TCKs, 3rd edition

by Steve and Gill Bryant

Published: 2017

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Serving at the Ends of the Earth is divided into seven sections. Steve and Gill begin by laying a foundation for what a missionary kid (MK) or third culture kid (TCK) is. They devote a section on transition describing what it is like, ideas to help with re-entry, and even a chapter for those times when a family may suddenly need to leave the host country without warning. Another section deals with parenting TCKs and has a chapter on cross-cultural marriages, which is nice as there are not a lot of resources on this topic. These sections are helpful and bring up some points that would be good for spouses/partners to discuss during all stages of transition.

I appreciated the last three sections of the book. First, one section deals with the heavy topic of dangerous situations and keeping children safe. This section was practical and is something that more and more organizations are becoming more educated in. I was glad to see it in this book as parents also need to be educated and know practical ways to keep their children safe.

The next section was about non-American TCKs. I appreciated this section because much of the literature comes from this background, and it is so good to read about what TCKs from other parts of the world experience. Their experiences are different and the challenges of repatriating or transitioning to university can be tricky. If you work in international schools, mission organizations, or HR departments of companies that have missionaries/global workers from all over the world, then I highly recommend this book just for this section alone.

The book’s last section is near and dear to my heart – educational issues. They discuss the different options, as well as their advantages and disadvantages. Another chapter deals with boarding schools. These two chapters are logical and can really help parents figure out what is best for each of their children. The authors point out that children are different and could need different educational options to help them grow and mature. The last chapter is on special education. Most of this chapter described various impairments, but the last few pages had guidelines for parents of children with special needs and for the sending agency. While I’m glad they included this chapter, I had a lot of questions after reading it, especially regarding their recommendations about MK schools being willing and able to take these students. While one would think it might be true, in reality there are few. But that is for another post at another time.

Though the audience of this book is missionary families and those who work with them, I see benefits to any global mobile family or organization/company that works with them to better understand what families need to consider when making a big move.

Book Review: NAVIGATING GLOBAL TRANSITIONS AGAIN by Frances Early, Jeni Ward, and Kath Williams

Posted on by
2

Navigating Global Transitions Again: A Journey of Faith – Graduate Planner

by Frances Early, Jeni Ward, and Kath Williiams

*Please note as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Like the title says it is a journey of faith by taking the soon to be graduate on a study of Galatians and relating it to where they are in life. The scripture is printed out on the pages and followed by questions that can be answered by the reader. This is nice as the reader does not need to look up Scripture and we all know that time is precious for those in this age group.

It is also a planner that starts twelve months before graduation and ends twelve months after. There are check lists of things to think through and do, but also discussion questions or processing questions to help the graduate during this time. The authors note that this can be done as an individual or in a group.

While I think the idea is great and needed (and I’ll be buying one for my soon to be graduate because I got an advanced e-copy), I think it is lacking for an individual to do alone. Most of the questions need to be discussed because this is a new area for the student and sometimes the parent. I think that some of the suggestions need to be explained a bit more in detail to help clarify what the authors want to convey. That being said, a well prepared mentor could use this book to lead and guide graduates in helping them transition.

I also have questions about some of the suggestions for the months before. I’m not sure twelve months before they leave that graduates can find a “bridge” person (if they know what that term means) because most students at this point do not even know which university or program they will choose, let alone what city, state, country. As I have talked with soon to be graduates, they are nervous and feel enough pressure as it is, especially those that really do not know what is next. So, while the checklists are great, a well prepared mentor would be able to help individuals navigate this unknown world a bit better.

There are some great activities for the graduate to do to help them build their RAFT. There are photo suggestions and places to draw maps. In fact, I do love that they have pages called “Wreck this Journal Page” where anything goes. In fact, they have a lot of blank spaces for processing and making notes.

Overall, I think the book has potential to be a good resource for counselors or mentors who work with students in their final year of high school or first year out. It is also a good resource for parents to help think through and have conversation starters. As for individual use, I do think there are a few individuals who could do it, but discussions are always better within a group.

Book Review: OF STILLNESS AND STORM by Michèle Phoenix

Posted on by
Reply

OF STILLNESS AND STORM: a novel29492092-_sr1200630_

by Michèle Phoenix

Published: 2016

*Please note as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Summary:

Sam and Lauren sell everything they own in the US to move to Nepal. It has been their dream to share the gospel with the distant tribes of the world. But it wasn’t their son’s dream. Sam treks the mountains for weeks at a time. He comes home tired and smelly but doesn’t want any luxuries because many in Nepal live in worse conditions. Lauren’s sense of adventure soon flattens after their move as she bumps along daily to a job she doesn’t like, fights a losing battle with the electricity, and watches her son slowly change from a fun and happy kid to a teen who just exists and resents her for everything. As the situation tenses on the home front, Lauren has an online encounter with a friend from her past. Her isolation leads to disillusionment, and things come crashing around her.

My Thoughts:

One of the reviews I read compared this book to THE POISONWOOD BIBLE, and I agree. Both stories drew up some deep emotions in me. With that said, if you experienced emotional trauma as a child, this book could be a trigger. So, read with caution.

 Michèle Phoenix is an MK (missionary kid) and has worked with MKs for many years. Her expertise and her personal experience give this story the raw emotions many who work overseas do not want to face. It asks the hard questions indirectly by watching this family try to survive while doing what they believe the Lord has called them to do.

I know that not everyone who reads this blog is a Christian, but the issues/themes in this book can be related to anyone who is trying to raise their family in a different culture than their own. Often, the children may not feel they have a choice in moving.

Book Review: THE HAPPY ROOM by Catherine Palmer

Posted on by
1

THE HAPPY ROOM

by Catherine Palmer

Published: 2002

Genre: Novel

*Please note as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

81qOl9Fdm2L._SY522_

Summary:

The Mossman family were missionaries in Africa. The three children viewed the experiences differently, which affected their adult lives. Peter turned away from God. Julia embraced the faith. The youngest Mossman brings them back together when she is hospitalized due to an illness. During the hospital stay, each of the siblings revisits the memories from their childhood. From the three perspectives, the readers get a clear picture of what life was like in the Mossman home, but also the experience of boarding school. As pain is revealed, healing begins – and the characters learn more about each other and the God who never left them.

My Take:

I’d heard of this book from a few friends and finally got my turn to read it. My curiosity led to a background check on the author, and I discovered that she and I are alumni of the same university, which I find incredible. But, what my investigative work also uncovered was that she is also an MK from Africa. Catherine knows a bit about this life overseas, and it truly comes alive through the characters in this book.

I love that the three siblings had different opinions about being raised overseas. I loved that they each told virtually the same story but with a different twist as to their perspective. The book was a quick read, meaning I had difficulty putting it down. 

I recommend it to parents as it will help them understand how their children may have different opinions about living overseas and being a TCK. I also would recommend it to ATCKs with a warning that if they experienced childhood trauma, it could be a trigger.