This article was first published on July 31, 2020, titled Transition Roller Coaster. I have reworked and updated it below.

Transitions. It is a rocky time for globally mobile families. You are up and then down. Tossed and turned. Some people like the thrill of rollercoasters. Some people do not.

Transitioning with all the unknowns, chaos, and goodbyes feels like a never-ending rollercoaster ride. And just as people have very different opinions about rollercoasters, each person in a globally mobile family will have different reactions during this time of transition.

So, what can you, as the parent or caregiver, do?

1. Be aware. Be aware of your own feelings and responses to those feelings. Observe how your body is responding to all the emotions you may be having. Is there tension in your shoulders? Headaches? Also, be aware that others may be acting out of response to anxiety, deep sadness, or even fear.
2. Choose Grace. Grace is a Christian word that basically means gift. Offer the gift of understanding when a young child throws a tantrum at the table. Give grace to your spouse when you find them “hiding” in a book, TV series, or a game. Giving grace sometimes means forgiving before it’s been asked for. Don’t forget to give yourself grace. It’s easy to be hard on yourself, but you need grace, too.
3. Communicate. When you are aware of your own actions and responses you can communicate with your family how you are feeling. You can ask for forgiveness when you’ve spoken in anger because of stress. You can ask how they are doing with this upcoming change. Use open-ended questions that do not allow for responses like “Okay,” “Fine,” or “It was good.” Ask “What are you going to miss the most?” or “How do you want to stay in touch with ______?” Remember though, that HOW you communicate is key – go back to #2 for guidance.

It’s easy to just close your eyes during a rollercoaster ride and not have the full experience. It’s also easy to just try to skip all of the parts of the transition to avoid the painful and hard moments, but it’s important to go through them. It’s important to process it all. Your mind and heart both need it.

So, I challenge you to hold on to that safety harness and force your eyes to stay open through all the dips, dives, and loops this transition rollercoaster brings.