Tag Archives: Book Reviews

Book Review: STAYING WELL ACTIVITY BOOK by Claire Holmes

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Staying Well Activity Book: Practical Activities to Support Children Aged 7-12 Whose Best Friend is Leaving + Facilitator’s Guide

by Claire Holmes

Genre: Processing Guide for Ages 7-12

Published: 2025

Summary:

Claire Holmes’s new activity book is for younger TCKs or any child who has said goodbye to their best friend. This activity book is the third one on transition that she has written. The first two were from her Moving On Series, Arriving Well and Leaving Well. The structure of this book is similar to the other two books but has activities geared towards the Stayer. Claire uses each letter from the word “TRUST” to help the child “grow [their] TRUST and cope in the best way” (p. 6).

Recommendations:

Claire is a school counselor at an international school in Singapore, where her knowledge of transition and trauma gives her wisdom in writing this activity workbook. Like the other two books, her facilitator’s guide is written like a well-thought-out teacher plan. The instructions are clear, with example questions for discussion, illustrations of each activity page, and alternative ideas to use with the activity. I recommend this to schools, those working with TCKs regularly, and any family who wants to help their child process their best friend leaving. 

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate.

Book Review: WHAT MADE THAT FEEL SO HARD? by Lauren Wells

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What Made That Feel SO Hard?

by Lauren Wells

Published: 2024

Summary:

In this book, Lauren Wells has taken her two previous books, The Grief Tower and Unstacking Your Grief Tower, and created a more in-depth version with guided questions and exercises. Her other two books were focused on TCKs specifically, but this book could be used by most people trying to understand the hardships of their past and how those hardships are affecting them now. I write “most” as a book should never replace therapy or counseling when it is needed – especially trauma-informed therapy. Lauren shares her own personal story throughout the book to highlight how to use The Grief Tower Model. She divided the book by giving a good portion to understanding the parts of The Grief Tower Model while offering exercises for a person to work through. The last couple of chapters are instructions on how to use it with other clients, with one chapter focused on working with children.

Recommendations:

I highly recommend this book to counselors who are working with people dealing with grief. It is a simple way for the clients to read a chapter and work through questions to process with someone else. I did do the exercises in the book and reflected on my own blocks. I was surprised how many blocks I had and the themes that seemed to come from the blocks. While Lauren did write it for individuals to use on their own, I would recommend talking with a trusted person who can help you process some of your findings. Friends are great, but in my personal opinion having a counselor bound by confidentiality laws is better for certain situations. And if you do find that some of your blocks are marked with trauma, then it is important to find a trauma-informed counselor to help you walk through it.

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Book Review: ABRAHAM’S DAUGHTER by Joy Smalley

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ABRAHAM’S DAUGHTER: Healing Trauma from a Childhood in Missions

Written by Joy Smalley

Published: 2023

Genre: Memoir

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Joy Smalley writes a memoir as a missionary kid growing up in Mongolia. Though born in the US, at the age of ten her parents moved her and her siblings to Mongolia. Life was hard and and neglect for ministry was normal. She grew up believing that everyone experienced what she did as a child. As she matured and had children of her own, the chinks of this belief began to break. Her body began to show signs from years of “holding it together.” Her belief was challenged: Was God who He said He was? All this led to believing that life was not worth living. She sought help from a licensed therapist who helped her navigate her childhood story and gave her a name for it: trauma. Within each chapter, Joy bounces from her childhood story to the couch in the therapist’s office gripping the pillow with fringe. By writing in such a way, Joy allows the reader to see a glimpse of her story while allowing an explanation of what was going on emotionally. It is through this storytelling/explanation that we realize that her childhood coping strategies were no longer working. Through storytelling, she is able to show how triggers can set someone off with PTSD or even Complex PTSD, but also the road in which they can take to healing emotionally and spiritually.

Recommendation:

This was a challenging read and could trigger anyone who experienced neglect or childhood trauma in missions. With that said, it is a well-written book. Joy has a gift of words and storytelling that will keep you wanting to turn the pages. As a short-term counselor, I appreciated her framework for writing this memoir. It was a good balance of story and therapy. It is not a “self-help” book but a memoir of her healing journey. I recommend it to any parent of TCKs, educators of TCKs, and counselors/therapists/spiritual directors who work with TCKs. Each person’s story is unique, but reading Joy’s story could give you an idea of what other TCK/MKs may be battling. Or at the least give the challenge to sit and listen to their stories which could help them unravel their own knotted beliefs and emotions.

Book Review: SAM’S ROOMMATE DISASTER by Anna Danforth

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SAM’S ROOMMATE DISASTER

by Anna Danforth

Genre: Middle Grade Novel

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary

Sam, a fifth-grade boy, is a missionary kid (MK) in the jungles of Congo. His best friend and roommate at the dorm has left, and he is stuck with a new roommate who is awful. Jordan does not seem to like Sam and is a terrible roommate, but everyone else likes him. Sam can’t figure it out. Through some pretty wild, unforgettable adventures, Sam has to make a decision whether he and Jordan can work out their differences or if maybe Sam has misunderstood Jordan all along.

Recommendation

Anna Danforth brings true stories of her husband’s childhood to life in this middle-grade novel. It is for ages 8-12 year-olds. Books are needed for the TCK/MK population, and this book is a good start. It has a strong beginning that will have you turning the pages to find out what is next, but I found that the main plot fizzled towards the middle. The friendship plot did not have enough twists and turns to help keep the story moving forward. It was solved in them in the middle of the story, which left the plot with not a real climax or resolution. But with that said, Sam is very relatable and the adventures he and his friends have are very memorable. I do think young MKs will enjoy reading about a fellow missionary kid who understands some of the challenges of living overseas and living in a dorm.

Book Reviews: THE GRIEF TOWER & UNSTACKING YOUR GRIEF TOWER by Lauren Wells

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THE GRIEF TOWER: A practical guide to processing grief with third culture kids

Published: 2021

UNSTACKING YOUR GRIEF TOWER for adult third culture kids

Published: 2021

Both books were written by Lauren Wells.

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Lauren Wells is the CEO of TCK Training and the Unstacking Company. The TCK life is an ampersand where life is both exciting and hard. As a TCK and working with a number of TCKs, she found that processing grief and loss was hard work. She also noticed a gap in the care for TCKs and started to fill that gap with her book, Raising up a Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids. Soon after, she released her books based on the Grief Tower Model that she developed. This model is to help process grief and loss.

THE GRIEF TOWER

This book is only 84 pages long. The chapters are short and easy to read. It is the theory behind the Grief Tower Model. Lauren offers clear understanding with practical suggestions to help TCKs process their own grief and loss. I appreciate this book as it breaks up the ideas for younger and older TCKs and how to relate to each group. It is a good book if you are curious about a grief model that looks at the life of TCKs. But if you plan to use the model with others, I highly recommend taking one of TCK Training’s workshops on debriefs or transitions.

UNSTACKING YOUR GRIEF TOWER

This is a practical guide for adult third-culture kids (ATCK), not children. It complements the book THE GRIEF TOWER, but you would not necessarily need to read it first. Lauren spends time in the introduction explaining the whats and whys behind this model. Each chapter guides you in processing your grief tower by asking questions or providing activities to work through. It can be done individually, or it could be done in a group where individuals share and move along together. This would need to be a “safe” space with guided rules of conduct, but processing grief with others can be healing. The Unstacking Company also offers a guided video workshop called Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101 led by Lauren. They also offer a workshop Processing Current Grief. Both workshops can be found here.

Both books warn that they are for educational purposes and not to be a substitute for “professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.”